When I was in my late 30s, I had a lot of fibroid tumors. Some were pressing on my spine and locked up the left SI joint at my pelvis.
After healing from the surgery that removed the fibroids I went to a chiropractor.
He got the joint loosened up, gave me a list of “Do’s and Don’ts” and told me to come back next week.
When I returned the first thing he asked was, “So did you do everything I told you NOT to?“
I replied “I tried but there just wasn’t enough time to do them all.“
We both laughed.
What is this thing about resisting what is good for you and continuing to do what is bad for you?
You would think that you would want to do what benefits you and want to avoid what does not and yet you probably often almost rebelliously do what is not beneficial to you.
What is that?
I wish that I had an answer for you, but I don’t. I still catch myself doing this and am witnessing my parents doing it more and more.
Is it a belief that you are rewarding yourself somehow?
Is it a form of control?
Is it just to prove that you can refuse things?
Again, I have no answer.
What I do know is that I do my best to catch myself now and ask some questions.
What is this creating for me?
What makes me believe that I must do this or must refuse this?
What other choices do I have here?
What would create more benefit for me?
And then see what shows up.
So I don’t have to be the rebellious child … or do I?
Maybe I won’t tell you! So there!!!
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