Were you taught to set goals when you were younger?
Did your parents, teachers, coaches, mentors tell you that setting goals was the way to achieve in life? Did they tell you that setting goals was the way to get what you wanted and that only by setting goals could you actually have a map to guide you, a path to run on and a trail to follow if you got lost?
I know that everybody wanted me to set goals.. things like goals for a career path, how many children I was going to have, where would I go to college, … etc! So often it felt like a burden for me to do that. I kept asking how was I supposed to predict what my life would be; couldn’t I simply allow things to unfold as they would rather than planning every detail? Couldn’t it be more about fun and the adventure of getting there?
The Vision And The Fun
Have you ever made a Vision Board (sometimes called Goal Poster, Treasure Map, Dream Board, etc)? Their purpose is to have pictures of what you would like to achieve on them and you place them in a prominent location in your living space so you have a visual in front of you all the time to remind you of your goals.
Sometimes you are to make them using the Feng Shui Bagua map which has a specific location on the board for different areas of your life like career, family, travel and so on.
When I make vision boards, using a specific format like that was too stressful for me. I know it may sound strange, but trying to find pictures that match all of the areas of the bagua and getting them placed properly and so forth was too confining for me. It was more important to me that my board be pretty and be covered with pictures that made me feel good! How funny is that?
Again, it was too much planning. It took all the fun out of it when I had to use that much structure.
Planning Paralysis
The other part of goal setting is the planning.
You have to have the perfect plan of how to achieve your goals. The PERFECT plan, mind you, not just any plan, the PERFECT plan.
You plan every detail and are constantly tweaking the plan to ensure it is correct before you take that first step because you don’t want to fail at it.
So, what does that create for you? Do you never take the first step until you have the perfect and complete plan?
You get “planning paralysis” so that you are constantly tweaking rather than doing. You never move ahead for fear that it isn’t the right step.
Again, so much stress on the emphasis on the plotting and planning and on the plan itself rather than on living!
Finally Getting There
Let’s say you actually did finally achieve your goal? Then what? Did you then sit back and celebrate your hard work and effort and how it paid off? Did you immediately set the next goal?
Were you lost now that you had achieved the goal and didn’t know where to go now that your main focus was no longer there?
Or maybe you never achieved the goal because you were the person who never set a goal because you were too afraid of what would happen and what others would think if you didn’t achieve it.
Or perhaps you were the one who set a goal that was WAY TOO HIGH and impossible to achieve.
Or did you have people criticize you because they decided that your goals were not high enough, not good enough, not worthy of you?
Those latter situations usually send us into self-sabotage and failure. Once you get there then you have to start to figure out why you failed and what was wrong with you. After all, you should have been able to set a goal and reach it even if you had to really stretch. You should have been better than that; etc, etc.
All of that floundering, whether it’s because you don’t have a new purpose or because you failed, send you into the loop of all your limitations and asking yourself what’s wrong with you!
Another Way
What if all of that goal setting or goal avoiding is keeping you small and limited?
“Huh?” you may ask.
Consider this. When you set a goal, you have to first DECIDE and CONCLUDE what it will be. Then you must work very hard, practice often, focus a lot and often sacrifice to attain it. It often becomes your entire life. No wonder you feel lost once you reach it because it’s as if your life is over!
What if setting goals actually limits you from having anything greater than what you decided!! What if they are cutting off your vision of other possibilities in your life because you have the blinders on telling you that you must achieve THAT goal rather than “straying” to other possible scenarios.
What if you are not asking any questions about what else is out there for you because you are too busy declaring exactly what you must have, concluding what is in your best interest, calculating what you have to do to achieve it, and last but not least, deciding the limitation of the moment!!
Could there be another way? Could there be an easier path to follow to have more than what you think is possible — greater than what others think you deserve? And then receiving all of that with a ton of ease?
Would you be willing to lay down your goals and tear up your vision boards and begin to ask questions? Questions open the door to all of the limitless possibilities that the universe has for you.
Rather than deciding what you MUST do, ask the universe, God, Source questions:
What else is possible for me that I haven’t considered?
What can I be, do and create that will be a contribution to me and the rest of the universe?
What am I willing to choose today that I have never been willing to choose before?
What is next?
What next step can I take that will move me into the life I would like to live?
What limitations have I put on my life that I am now ready to let go of today?
What am I now capable of creating that I have never created before?
What if what I am capable of is far greater than what I think I am capable of?
What if the difference between success and failure; right or wrong; goals or aimlessness is just your point of view?
What if you could simply get up in the morning and ask what the next step is for you today?
Be open to the flow of the universe and see where it takes you!
For more questions that can change the way you look at life get my ebook “Questions to Change Your Life” by clicking here.
