The #1 Thing That Makes Forgiving Ourselves Hard

Do you have people and events in your life that were really difficult to forgive? Or maybe even ones you still have not forgiven?

Have those things just keep coming back to haunt you even though you believe that you have forgiven everyone?

Perhaps the one person you never forgave was you!

I know, I have said that to people and their response was, “I don’t think I have anything to be forgiven for!”, but that’s not what I am talking about.

What I refer to is the fact YOU have not forgiven YOURSELF. You have not forgiven you for taking part in all of it, for needing the lesson, for not forgiving others, for getting lost in it all … for all sorts of things.

You are still angry with the one person you are still blaming for everything … YOU!

So what makes you continue to blame yourself?

Perhaps you don’t want to admit that you might have been wrong in the situation!

“Who me, wrong? Absurd!” Does that sound familiar? How much energy are you wasting trying to justify what happened and how it happened and why it happened and on and on, looping back through everything trying to ensure that you were right in all of it.

You judge yourself much harsher than you judge others. Yes it’s true. You believe that you should have known better, you should have handled it better, you should have … should have … really, really should have!!!

And when you don’t measure up to those “should haves”, then you are just so wrong!! Again you don’t want to be wrong … you want to be RIGHT! ALWAYS RIGHT!!!

How could you let yourself down like that? AGAIN! How dare you not measure up to those high standards that you have for yourself? How DARE you?!?!

You need to be punished. So now you punish yourself in some way like eating poorly or not sleeping or drinking too much or some such thing. Now you have abused your body so you have something else to not forgive yourself for!

It just goes on and on like that. Wrongness, rightness, judgement … heaped upon each other, looping over and over again. It’s exhausting!

You are giving so much of your energy to it. Energy that you would be using to create a life that you would like to live!

So, what now?

Let Go Of Right And Wrong

I know it sounds hard, but let go of the idea that you have to be right or wrong in the situation.

In the long run, does it matter? You’ve wasted so much time and energy on it already and it hasn’t solved anything, has it? So allow yourself to be just step aside from the whole thing.

There is an interesting tool we use in Access Consciousness® called “Interesting Point of View.” Everything is just an interesting point of view that we have taken for the moment and we can change that point of view at any time. We aren’t stuck with it, it really doesn’t have significance, and we can let it go anytime.

Try it. Look at the situation and say “Interesting Point of View that I have about ______”. And then you can go a step beyond and say “Interesting Point of View that I have that Interesting Point of View about ______”.

Freeing isn’t it? It might even bring a smile to your face!!


Let Go Of Judgement Of You

Yes, cut yourself some slack!

Realize that you don’t have to create all of those standards for yourself and constantly judge whether you measure up or not!

When you have judgements, you don’t see the things that don’t match those judgements. You are letting so much of life pass you by because it doesn’t match what you have decided it must look like. So you create rejection, victimization, lack and the sense that you have no choice in life!

Wouldn’t you rather have a life that has choice and possibilities; that is open and expanding?

So when you start judging yourself, stop and ask yourself “What else is possible here that I haven’t considered?” and allow the Universe to show you the possibilities.

Allow that judgement and the feeling that you NEED to judge you, to just slip away!


Expanding Out Meditation

There is a meditation that you can do to assist you in letting go of things and releasing the significance of them.

First, close your eyes, unless you’re driving or walking or something like that.

Get the sense of the energy that you are. Do you have bounds? No, you are infinite. You are not confined by your body, you can expand beyond it.

Now expand your energy to fill the room where you are, expand out 20 feet in all directions – up, down, on all sides

Now, expand out 100 feet in all directions – up, down, on all sides.

Now, expand out 1 mile in all directions.

Now 100 miles. Now 1000, 10000.

Now expand to fill and cover the Earth.

Now, expand out to the orbit of the moon, then into the solar system.

Then out into the Milky Way Galaxy, then out into the stars and beyond if you wish.

Now, turn around and look back toward the Earth, back at your problems. Do you see how small and insignificant they are now? Realize that they are and have always been that way, so why are you giving so much energy to them? Just let them go.

And when you are ready, come back.

How was that? Were you able to let go? You may need to repeat it a few times.

Wonderful isn’t it?


You deserve to forgive you so you can use all that energy to create a life you would love to live!



Would you like more tools? Check out “Questions to Change Your Life”