Remember, they have never done this before

Several years ago I watched the video below about a guy who is having a bad day and complaining to himself about it.

A stranger then gives him a pair of glasses which allow him to see what other people are dealing with in their lives. He sees that people have lost their jobs or are grieving the loss of a loved one or just got divorced and many other things.

It shocks him and also helps him to have perspective on the events in his own life. Suddenly having someone cut in front of him in line or take the parking spot that he wanted just doesn’t seem as important.

Have you ever considered different perspectives in your life?

I remember one day when I was a teenager, I was moping around the house because we were going to be moving to a different state because my father had been transferred to a new location with his job. To me, it was like my life was over! I was moving away from all my friends to a place I knew nothing about.

My mother pointed out to me that my life wasn’t as horrible as I was making it out to be. Now, I won’t say that that statement immediately snapped me out of my funk (I mean, I WAS a teenager, after all); however it did make me stop and think, much like the man in the video.

I still use the technique of imagining what is going on for other people and also what “could” be happening for me (“it could be worse”) when things are not going as I would like. It does help.

For instance, last week, we had to take our cat to the emergency vet (he is fine now) and when we were trying to leave the vet, the car wouldn’t start. Luckily before they sent a tow truck, we got it to start and managed to get home at which point the car died and wouldn’t start again. My husband was complaining a bit about that. I reminded him that

1. The car DID start
2. The car continued to run all of the way home
3. We made it home safely
4. We were in a safe spot with the car parked outside our house where the tow truck could easily come get it now.

So yes, things may not have worked out exactly as we would have liked; however, it did go pretty well and we were able to get the car fixed the next day.

Now, I know I veered a bit from the video.

However, I use similar techniques when people are doing something that isn’t what I would like them to be doing. I won’t say that I don’t complain, because I do sometimes, however I also do my best to give them the benefit of the doubt and take into consideration what might be going on for them.

One technique my husband and I use is to say, “Remember, they have never done this before.” We try to treat them as if this is their first day doing this job and give them a break.

We started this years ago when we were standing in a huge line at Customs to come back into the USA. The line was moving excruciatingly slow. I said, “You’d think they had never done this before.” We both smiled and decided to assume that they never HAD done it before. Granted, it did not speed the line up at all, however it did make the waiting less annoying.

Now, whenever one of us starts to complain about someone, frequently the other of us uses that phrase “Remember, they have never done this before” which, at least brings a smile and lightens our moods.

The moral of my story?

Be kind. You never know what kind of battle someone may be fighting. And maybe they have never done this before.

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